How it all happened

Many people have asked me over the years how I came to become a "be your own person” expert. Believe it or not, I was standing in your shoes a few years ago, not clear about the future or about how I wanted my life to be, feeling like I could only figure as far as the end of the week, wondering how I was going to find the right person for me, and then something happened. One day, I was having a coffee with a friend and in the midst of the conversation she said "Well, you know, a man is not a necessity to life". Then she went on saying of course we all need love and attention, of course it may be easier to be two in daily practical terms but at the end of the day whether we are alone or accompanied we are complete, we are our own person. And it was like a pile of bricks just fell right on my head! At that moment I realized that unconsciously I had always been defining myself against somebody else, I had been waiting for somebody else to define me, to validate me, I had bought into the “better half of” thing instead of being my own person, being a whole individual, complete in my own right.
I came to realize at that moment that I had been coming from my weaknesses instead of my strengths simply because I didn’t know my strengths and this was particularly a problem in relationships because guess what I seem to always attract the wrong kind of people.

That night when I came back to my apartment I made the commitment to do whatever it takes to bring definition and purpose into my life, know myself, my values, strengthen my core, become an independent woman knowing that only from that place in my self will I be able to truly relate to the world and to others.

And I did just that, the first step was stop using loneliness (or anything else for that matter) as an excuse. The second step was forgiveness to myself (and others) for having waited to so long to get there. The third step was about clarity, who I was doing things for, was it for my parents, my friends, my boss or truly for my own self. That step included to sort out all kinds of emotions that would fog my vision. The fourth was about the reasons, finding or adopting the right reasons to act. And the final step was to elevate from reason to value, from understanding to upholding, from helping myself to helping others. Through this process I built that inner core that gives me today strength, clarity and meaningful relationships.

Soon people around me, friends, family, and colleagues began to notice the change. They started taking me aside and saying “Catherine, I envy you your ability to say no when necessary.” Or "I envy you your clarity of mind". And later, after I met the man who is now my husband “you are so lucky to have met such a man!!!” to which I would answer that there was actually little luck there but rather the knowing of what I wanted and didn’t want in my life and the strength to stand by those.

Slowly, some of my friends started to ask for advice and help and I started to work with them on a regular basis. Then they asked if I wouldn’t mind working with their friends or their daughters. The next thing was “Catherine you are bringing so much why don’t you take clients?” I studied the possibility for a while and realized that helping women become truly strong and independent was definitely what I wanted to do with my life. And the complete change of life that I lived whilst immigrating in Canada was the perfect opportunity to make that career change and dedicate my time and energy to helping women take their life in their own hands and materialize the rich life they always wanted to have.

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