Do you have to?

If there is one expression I hear a lot it is: “I have to”, “I have to do the cleaning”, “I have to go shopping”, “I have to be there for him or her”, “I have to listen to their problems”, “I have to be a good employee”, “I have to be happy”, “I have to have that new car”, It always amazes and saddens me as well, how much people have to do or be or have… and how little they choose to.

And in many cases my answer is “no, you don’t!”. You don’t have to but you can choose to. Having to is abdicating your power over your own life to something out there that controls you, in the expression “I have to” there is no place for choice, decision, reflection, real growth,
or stamina building, have to is a sterile place.

Now, choosing to is a different story altogether, listen to that: “I choose to clean the house”, “I choose to go shopping”, “I choose to be there for him or her”, “I choose to listen to their problems”, “I choose to be a good employee”, “I choose to be happy”, “I choose to have that new car”, “We choose to move in a bigger house”, “I choose to be strong”, “I choose to put up with it”, “I choose to make things happen”….
Can you hear and feel the difference? Can you see the shift in responsibility? Choosing to is taking the control of your life, choosing to gets you going, gets you acting and not reacting.

"I have to" closes, it is an end, "I choose to" opens new possibility, it is a beginning, a starting point.

Have is a possession that possesses you, not the other way around, after all, you can’t take any of your ‘haves’ with you in the end. Life is a choice, hopefully motivated by a well reasoned ‘why’.

Your assignment:

Try it for yourself for a week, replace all your “have tos” by “choose tos” and see for yourself how much more of your own person you can be.

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